M | Central

Sitting in my car I’m headed to my meeting, I’m not in a rush but I feel a sense of urgency; time for whatever reason is against me. The road is clear, not the amount of cars I would have expected for this time of day. As I’m walking I look around and remark on the amount of gray and blues in here. I see the gentleman whom I there to meat, he’s stepping up to a podium, then turns to me and says “Oh Good, I’m just going to make my announcements and then I’ll be with you. Why don’t you have a seat in the board room” I nod agreeably as I turn around I focus on 3 women in blue dresses walking side by side as they pass me, each one making eye contact with me in succession, holding a lit cigarette in their mouths with their teeth; there older women in their late 60’s, from the back they all seem to sport the same Hair style – just as I’m about to turn I hear a voice beside me saying “Those two are twins” pointing to the one on my far left and the one in the center…”But the three of them, well they’re triplets”, now gesturing a circular motion encompassing all three of them. It s the gentlemen I’m here to meet; I’m not really sure what he means by that cryptic statement so I say nothing. We’re seated in the board room where I’m surrounded by the heads of various departments; He’s speaking about how successful the company is doing and how their growth is all because of the great work being done. I can hear him go on in detail, but I find myself distracted…I really want to know what he wants to tell me; why am I here. I turn my attention to him and excuse myself for interrupting. “I know, it’ll just be a minute”; Mid sentence I hear the ring of a cell. The gentleman turns to me “Would you mind getting that, then we can start our discussion.” I bend down and grab the Cell; It’s not mine, but I recognize it. It’s a blue metallic bottom flip – I open the cover but I don’t notice any numbers… I place the hand set to my ear from across the table I hear a voice yell “WAIT! Don’t take that call!” – “Hello?”

I can still hear the alarm on my night stand ringing; I reach over and turn it off.

It’s said that somewhere in the world we all have a twin. That statement at best is ambiguous; does it refer to physical resemblance or tastes or maybe lifestyle…in either case the most popular reference is “Physical Resemblance” Which brings me to my story.

A few years ago I was working down town, and on holidays it wasn’t uncommon for me to drive to work since parking was free. The following weekend my step dad turned to me and said

Him: “I saw you down town on Friday”

Me “Possible”

Him “So tell me, Who was the girl in with you?”

Me “Who?…wasn’t carrying a passenger”

Him “C’mon – I saw you in your car with girl…and it wasn’t Fembot”

Me “What time was this at?

Him “Around 16:00 near the 25”

Me “ I left at 15:00 – and I went in the opposite direction…couldn’t be me”

Him “Yah…ok “

At this point we drop the conversation, since he thinks I’m messing with him and I obviously think old age is catching up to him… I don’t give the conversation much thought after that…until

Fast forward – to a 2006: a Coworker comes in to my office white as a ghost (an impressive feat in itself since he’s Indian). I ask him what’s wrong… here’s what he told me

“I was on my way to work this morning, when I saw what looked like your care ahead of me…I pull up beside the car and sure enough I see its you. So I decided to pull ahead and as a joke I kept tapping my breaks…but then as I pulled in to the parking lot – you kept going….IT WASN:T YOU! But I would have sworn it was…he could have easily been you man…”

This time it got a bit eerie…I realized my twin surfaced again. I informed my Indian coworker of what transpired a few years back, and then when he left I got this un easy feeling…there really is another me out there….

You ever have one of those days where you should have just stayed in bed with the covers pulled tightly over your head? Yesterday was one of those days for me. The Alarm went off per usual and I sprang *stumbled* out of bed and eagerly *reluctantly* went about my AM routine.

Fast-forward – while waiting for FB to get her stuff I’m relaxed *stressed* cause we’re running very late; I go over to my coat hanging by the door and I make sure I have my office keys, wallet and my PDA. At this point she’s’ ready to go, so I calmly *franticly* grab my bag and we get in the car and off we go. After I drop her off I head to the office – traffic is good and I’m making up some of the time I lost.

Fast-forward – I pull in to the parking, and then grab my bag, and reach for my coat…$HIT! My coat… FvCK! My PDA… CR@P! My Wallet… SOB! My Keys… At this point I’m the only one who would have a set that opens the outer doors, but bump that – I’m also the only one with a key to my office…and the Coms room. OK I have no choice I have to go back home to get my stuff. As I jump back on the highway I noticed that my Fuel tank is low…very low. I’m not immediately worried, until the warning light pops on…I’m still a ways away from my house but I decided to get off and gas up…using the wallet I don’t have. Ok so now I start plotting the fastest rout home accounting fro traffic & actual distance, with stops and red lights.

Fast-forward – I get home on what could only be vapors in my tank…I shut off the engine and run in and get my wallet, the dog is confused and I give him a quick pet while I grab my coat and run out the door and b-Line for the nearest gas station. Surprisingly I make it there without so much as a sputter in the engine; I grab the nozzle and begin filling. When I get to the cash I pull out my wallet to pay – where the F*%@ is my debit card? Livid would be the closest word in the English language to describe how I feel…in fact I don’t think any spoken language to date has a word to adequately describe the feeling… Now; embarrassed about my gaffe I’m not sure what to do…I don’t want to stiff them but I just can’t leave without paying to go look for my card. I explain what happened to the attendant and offer to leave my License with them until I return. She instead has me fill out this form worthy of the ones I used when negotiating software contracts…Some ware in here I’m convinced there is a clause where they get to keep my house… if I default.

Fast-forward – I get home find my card and head back to the station. I get in line to pay for my “Stolen Gas”…two guys ahead of me…and the one currently at the cash…is a F@&% penny counter…AH! For the love of God… 7 minutes later (no exaggeration) the guy is done…and heads out with his Coke, Smokes and brownie. Good only one to go, and this guy had just put gas cause I saw him as I pulled in. he says in French “40 on the Pump 2” and the guy punches it up…then with his right hand he drops a “Loto Quebec” portfolio on the counter, opens it up…I can see the whole thing is organized…the guy starts perusing through them…advising the attendant of the ones he’s looking to replenish… While this is going on he is scratching and filling out a select set from his stock. Did I say livid…at this point the enamel on my teeth has worn out and I’m sure I’m just grinding the nerve endings together…Just as I’m about to snap a 2nd attendant appears and offers to serve me (I’m convinced he was standing in the stock room watching my eye twitch on the surveillance camera; I pay for my purchase and head out.

Fast-forward – I get back on the highway and surpassingly traffic is light…I up my speed and head to work…out of no ware traffic come to a slowdown…everyone’s rolling at +/- 100 clicks…what is the deal? I change lane…and sure enough I see a Cop car setting the pace up ahead…no one is crossing that invisible barrier…I’m hoping he pulls off at the next exit or drops his speed so I can pull ahead…but no go…I get stuck with our city’s finest all the way to my exit…fortunately after 2 hours on the road I get to work and my day continues without incident.

Every day I arrive at work, I open up the building’s main doors. The key I use is identical to another key I carry on the same key ring. When I arrive it’s a 50/50 chance I’m going to grab the correct key to unlock the doors. Here’s the twist; the key I pick indicates the type of day I’m going to have. Now I’m not a superstitious man; at least I don’t think I am – and common sense tells me that there is no connection either direct or indirect between the Key I place in to the lock on the door and how the day’s events will unfold. A few days ago I arrived to work, when I got to the door I took the key and placed it in the lock and tired to unlock the door. I had the wrong key; when I did unlock the doors I walked in and when I got to my station I was faced with alerts from several systems that were having issues, and from there the day just went from bad to worse. I know what you’re thinking – even if I chose the correct key, my day would have transpired in the exact same manner - but the fact remains I didn’t choose the correct key. Also don’t forget this observation isn’t an isolated incident, but rather one of many. I must have taken note of several dozen times of which key I used and then watched to see what was going to happen…each time I used the wrong key I came in to find systems down, and devices not working…People arrived in bad moods and the overall atmosphere was tense. So, what is it? Is it an error within the constructs of the Matrix, a fault in the programming that somehow connected these two elements that should otherwise be independent of each other; or maybe it’s nothing more than an alignment of coincidences.

Anyone in the area within the last 2 months knows what I’m talking about when I say “Snow”. In a span of a little over 30 days we were hit with 3 major snowstorms; 2 of which were only a week apart. The Last one was just over a week ago – but look outside and you’d hardly believe it. Step outside and you’d forget you were in still in the month of January. A long sleeve shirt and a nylon coat are all you really need. To be frank about it – I love it, I feel like all I’ve done the last month is shovel. Not an exaggeration – between my driveway, my next door neighbors…and the ones further down that’s pretty much a fact. So now that we’re blessed (yes I consider this a blessing)with warmer weather and just enough rain to expedite the snow melting process, I’m relieved that I can hang-up the shovel; not for the rest of the season – I’m not about to go and toss on the Summer tires yet, but for now I’ll take my victories where I can get them…there is no snow on the horizon and what we got is on its way out

The holiday season came and went like all the others before it. Except this time I wasn’t filled with any “holiday Spirit” whatever “holiday Spirit” is. I can’t quantify it, or really explain what it is, save to say that I always had this euphoria about me. Not like I wanted to walk around hugging everyone and telling them I love them, but more in the background – putting a spring in my step, and smirk on my face. Now don’t get me wrong, I did enjoy the time off and the gathering with friends and family…and the eating of all my favorite foods, but my point is that for all the sentiment involved this could have taken place during the summer in the middle of a heat wave during any given month. So what happened? I asked myself this question a few times since I enjoyed myself all around this holiday season. The only answer that keeps coming up is “I don’t have one”. At this point you may be reading this and saying to yourself “This guy sounds depressed”, ironically this is furthest from the truth. During the Holiday season I was in good spirits (still am despite being back at work); it just this year that “Magic” is missing. That element that usually accompanies you while you setup the decorations etc… just isn’t with me. Maybe next year.

Is “Reason” more powerful than “Wonder”?

Like every other child, I was scared of monsters under my bed, and every so often I would call my parents to come and inspect the room, When I got older I gained a powerful weapon that I could wield against the things that went bump in the night. “Reason”, with it I gained the knowledge that there are no such things as monsters or the boogieman. Reason served as my shield and my sword in times when irrational fear gripped me. But as I got older “reason” became a doubled edged sword…The very thing that had protected me from the things that went bump in the night was now doing away with the benevolent characters I’d become familiar with. The tooth fairy & Santa Clause we’re among the first to go; the shroud of fantasy was now ripped open and reality poured in.
I received a light hearted email a few years back; someone had worked out the science of what would be involved if “Santa Clause” existed and actually flew around the world in one night. Essentially the science behind it destroyed the magic of it all. Of Course I’ve known the truth for some time – but seeing it on my screen made the truth seem so much colder.
As we evolve “Reason” is changing our world. Stars are no longer holes in the blanket placed over the earth at night. Thunder is not the result of “God” or any other higher power bowling. As soon as we can, study it, dissect it, and explain it – we change it.
The fabric of illusion is being cut away by cold hard facts – The constructs of our imagination are beginning to buckle earlier in our adolescents under the weight of reality. So I can’t help but ponder; is there any place for the byproducts of “Wonder” in the world?